Who was wrong?

Where did I go wrong? Was it even my fault? A part of me strongly feels that it wasn’t my fault, but, maybe I’m just trying to justify myself. On the other hand, maybe I’m taking this too personal, or am I not?

My mum and I went to a frozen food store to get some sea food. When we entered into the store, I thought my mum was the C.E.O. of the store. The reception she received from the workers was awesome. Everyone was trying to go out of their way to keep her extra comfortable. I guess her interesting personality did the trick – as always. *shrugs*

A young man made a very funny statement that made everyone, including myself – despite the hunger-inspired hit song that my tummy was singing – to laugh. But a cashier at the counter wore a very serious face. I was wondering what could be wrong with her when my mum asked me to pick what I wanted. Well, since I love samosa I hurriedly picked that.

We both got to the counter and had to pay our bills to the uncheerful lady. We gave her three notes of 1,000 Naira and waited to collect our change. The cashier’s first words to us were totally unexpected; “I don’t have change, so you could either just sit around somewhere until I can get your change, or you can drop what you picked and leave.” Now if, as her employer, I saw her treat a customer the way she treated my mum and I, I would have saved her the stress of walking out of my organisation – she would be THROWN out! What a very bad customer service.

I turned to look at my mum, my mother stared back quietly. I looked at the rude lady again and said, “aunt, please help us get it. We are the customers.” The lady retorted, “tell your friend to go and look for 50 Naira. I don’t have change.” Did she just refer to my mum in that manner? This got me angry. Nobody disrespects my MAMA! I looked at her angrily and told her that she was very rude and that she had no right to address my mum the way she did. My mum calmly gave me a signal to keep quiet which I did and walked away.

Before I could take a seat, the lady pulled out a belt and threatened to beat me. Astonished, I had to laugh at that. My mum unleashed her tongue lashing prowess on the now, red-faced lady. Everyone around pleaded with my mum to pardon her. I packed the goods that we bought after my mum eventually decided to leave the change and walked out into the car park. Just as I was about leaving, the lady came up to me, pointing her finger, telling me how lucky I was to be saved from receiving the beating of my life that afternoon.

That comment was intended to get me raged. Instead, with a relaxed attitude, I advised the cashier to quit being stupid and get on with her job. With that, I walked out of the store.

But on our way home I kept thinking; why did this happen? who was at fault? should we have just sat aside as the cashier rudely told my mum to? Did the small physiques of myself and my mum make the lady think that we were actually kids? Did I or my mum handle the situation in a wrong manner? If so, where did we go wrong?
Perhaps, after reading this, you will help me solve this puzzle.



You can do good or bad All by yourself

Hi everyone, it feels so good to be back. I witnessed a big fight between a mother and her daughter. From the daughter’s statements, I gathered that she blamed her mother for how her life turned out. On my way home, I analysed that issue critically in my head. At last, I was convinced that we choose to do good or bad all by ourselves.

One thing is for sure, you may not have the power to turn everything from black to white, but you certainly have the power of choice. God told us, “I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live”. Note that God gave us options to choose from, then He advised us. It is our own choice to accept God’s advice or reject it.

It all depends on you to make a great life. Quit blaming people for the outcome of your decisions. People will advise you and persuade you, but that’s just how far they can go. Your decision to accept or reject is what matters. In the bible, the devil advised Eve to eat the apple, and she decided to eat. But when the devil advised Jesus to turn stone into bread and eat, He decided otherwise.

Sometimes, we harbour certain ideas, but being less confident to execute them, we succumb to the slightest pressure, holding whoever convinces us responsible for our decisions. Know this, whether you’re advised to do good or bad, you will face the consequences of your decisions. So maintain calmness and apply wisdom before you make that decision.

Well, I will like you to share your own views in comments below.


Stop saying who cares

    Stop saying who cares!!!

Long time ago, whenever I wanted to go out, I would just pick anything I could lay my hands on and off I went. My friends would try to talk or mock me out of my fashion insanity. “Pls don’t wear that!” “You look perfect for the opposite of this occasion” “hey, that outfit is a No-No.” But my reply, as always, was, WHO CARES?!

You really don’t want to know about the embarrassment that transformed my attitude.

Dress how you want to be addressed. The effect of our dressing is quite powerful. Whether fair or unfair, people judge us by the way we look, and that includes our dressing. It’s amazing how the way you dress can also affect you. Notice how your self-confidence level rises anytime you receive compliments on your outfits? Yes, the same way you feel embarrassed when disapproving eyes stare at your outfit too.

Some ladies complain that they seem to be attracting the wrong guys. The truth is, very often, the “wrong guys” to you are just the right guys to get attracted by your Wrong Dressing. Picture yourself in a corporate attire. Okay, now picture yourself in a stripper’s dress. Guess who meets the good guy’s parents.
Try changing your style and see how it goes. We need to realize that our dressings greatly determine who gets attracted to us, and also, their manners of approach.

Imagine someone very intelligent, going for an interview in “Iro and buba” . . . Hilarious, right?

Let your dress fit the occasion. Ensure your outfit style is not over-the-top, or below acceptable. Why dress like it’s a funeral service when you are actually going on a date? How could you put on a wedding dress for an interview?!

What would come to mind if you see a man wearing a pink hat, a green suit with a pair of brown trousers and yellow shoes – a Pimp wannabe, right.
A person with good fashion sense knows the right colour combinations. Some guys get totally ignored by ladies even before they could say Hi. Let’s face it, which lady of real class would like to be seen with a guy who is dressed in multiple abstract colours, looking like the face of a Clown?

Your closet must not be filled with designer clothes. You don’t need $1million for shopping before you can dress well. No!!

Wear what you have, but in a trendy way. Combine the right colours. Oversized outfits were cool in the 1990s, not now. Never wear whatever would expose your underwear. Only the comic hero, SuperMan, has the right to flaunt his underwear to the public. Dress right for the occasion. Wear what makes you feel very comfortable, yet classy. Also, smell nice. This is called PACKAGING!!!

Stop the attitude of “who cares” and dress Good. Above all, dress to Glorify God!!!
I rest my case!

My Loud Thought

Goodbye to a True soldier

Goodbye to a true soldier…

Have you ever tried to make a phone call to someone, only to remember that the person no longer lives in this our world?

Yesterday I lost an angel, a friend whose smile could brighten up any dark mood. Her voice could penetrate deep down into the core of your heart. She was as cool as the evening breeze by the sea. An epitome of beauty.

Although, the ailment took you away, but that smile was something you never gave up. Blessed with a very brave spirit and a rock-hard faith, you would look into people’s eyes and tell them everything would be fine – optimistic to your last breath.

How else can I describe a soul that was so patient and kind? Your words were like a soothing balm to many hearts.

When I saw you in my sleep, you told me that you were strong now and I should look at you. I didn’t know what you meant was that your soul has finally found peace by God’s bosom. Now I know the source of your new strength and joy. So sad to lose such a valuable jewel on earth. But it’s relieving to know that Heaven gains at my loss.

Oluwakemi – a woman of great courage. Oh yes! What a terrific chorister you were! Words can’t express who you were, or how hard you worked. But I know you are with the best choir now, singing halleluyah. I know you fought the good fight of faith while you were here, but God has a better plan for you – a rest at home with Him.

Your death opened my mind to the realization that this world is just like a market. When we return home, what will our Father say?

Oluwakemi, I love you and I miss you so much, but God loves and needs you more. I know you’re in a better place now, a place where joy cometh not only in the morning anymore, but at all times and seasons.

REST IN PEACE my darling friend, and all the souls that have gone home to rest. You will forever be in our hearts!

MyLoudThought with Jemima



Many years ago, someone hurt me deeply. For many years, I lived with that pain in my heart. Everyday, I reminded myself that I was never going to forgive – ever! Then, a moment came when I asked myself, “does this person even know that I was – and is still feeling – hurt?” and “if I forgive this person, what would I lose?”

You can’t imagine how free and how relieved I became when I decided to truly forgive.

There is a certain feeling we all get when we see, or even think about, that person whom we promised ourselves not to forgive: a sharp chest pain; a migraine; a heartbeat louder than Dr. Dre’s beat box; and sometimes, a nauseous feeling due to a sudden rush of blood through our veins.
We carry that hatred, bear that grudge, and live with that pain, not aware of the greater harm such burden has on us. Everyone has been hurt one way or the other, either slightly or deeply, some forgettable while some are not. Our deepest pains, most times, are caused by the people we trusted and loved dearly: parents, siblings, friends, spouse, etc. Some of us just won’t forgive our own selves.

Why don’t you take that great step to let go of the grudge, the pain, drop that burden of hatred, and relieve yourself with the joy of forgiveness. I know, from experience, that it may not be so easy. It is even more difficult to forget.

Forgiveness is re-acceptance. Research shows that, “people who forgive are happier and healthier than people who show resentment”. The famous advice columnist, Ann Landers said, “hate is like acid. It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured.”

One very difficult thing to do is to always pay evil with kindness, and to forgive the seemingly unforgivable deeds. But since we wouldn’t like our “vessels” to be ruined by the acid called hate, our best option is to forgive. When we do this, life becomes so easy to live, smile becomes so easy to give, and we become truly happy – regardless of who we see or think about.

My Loud Thought with Jemima.

So its true !

So it’s true!

Sitting by my window with a cup of hot soya drink, I could feel the rush of dry wind. I watched the leaves fall from their branches. I saw people wrapped up in their heavy coats, trying to get warm and I asked myself what was happening. Then, it hit me – Harmattan season! SO IT’S TRUE! The year 2013 is almost over.

I could remember the first day of the year when someone asked me what my new year resolution was. I was so excited to list all the plans I had for the year. I felt so confident and optimistic. But today, as the clock ticked aloud to remind me of how time flies, I asked myself if I was able to achieve all my year’s objectives. How did the time ever pass without me noticing?

Those who feel that they have under-achieved tell themselves, “this year is gone. I will complete next year’s objectives.” But, wait a minute, we are just in November. We still have more than forty days left to accomplish whatever we wish to. Please, don’t give up on it yet! It is only November, it’s not over! Get back to work on your abandoned projects. Above all, make God the leader and member of your team. You have tried the solo work enough already.

Some didn’t even set any goals nor make any resolutions, but have rolled with the year as it goes. There’s still more than a month for you to set a few great goals and achieve them. Think about what you want in your life, talk to God to work with you, then you start working towards it from that moment, NOW.

To all those who completed every objective set for this year, a big congratulations to you. But remember to show maximum gratitude to God for the grace to achieve your goals.

I rest my case here. I wish you enjoy this harmattan season as much as I do (smiles).
And Yes its true! It’s November! And it’s 2013 coming to a close!

Happy birthday to all November born.
Best love.

Twitter: @jemimaTolase
Facebook page :My Loud Thought.

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Contentment – An important virtue

Over the week, I had a chat with a friend and from that conversation the word “contentment” popped up. My subconscious mind has been playing with that word ever since – contentment. Now what is contentment?

My old dictionary defines contentment as “a state of being happy in one’s situation, being satisfied.” I know some noses are probably twitching right now and they are thinking “how can I have little and be satisfied?” Okay let me WOW you now.

You see, these wealthy people we see who, from the outward view, seem to have everything; money, respect, connections, and everything else, believe that there is still something missing in their lives. This supports the statement that humans are insatiable, both the young and the old, the poor and the rich. We all want more of everything even when we know we can’t have it all (yeah, including myself).

In this our world, discontentment has bored so deep into our system, and this is a major factor of destruction of the system (relax, I’m not going into politics). But what is the origin of discontentment? Well, I would say it started in the garden of Eden, that very moment when our ancestors desired to have the same wisdom as God – see where it led us today.

Frankly, contentment is actually one of the most difficult virtues to attain, and yet one of the most important virtues that we all need. A contented person is someone who trust in God, who is sincere and pure at heart and can use anything he has for God’s purpose.

Paul enlightened us further saying, “there’s nobody on earth who was, or is naturally born with contentment. We have to LEARN how to.” Truth is, contentment is not easy. You feel satisfied at some point, but later discover that level of satisfaction is no longer enough, so we want more, and then some more (Oliver Twist attitude).

HEY! Good news is that we can attain contentment with God’s Grace alone, the grace which strengthens our hearts.
However, note that contentment and greed are similar to light and darkness respectively -both can’t be present at the same time.

God has taught us that we must be content for happier living and it is explained in the Bible -Phillipians 4:11-13, “Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

An inspiring writer said, “there’s nothing wrong with possessing things, but there’s something wrong if we can’t be content without them.”

May the Lord help us find contentment in Him (Amen)!!!

Much love,
My Loud Thought with Jemima

Twitter: @JemimaTolase
Facebook: My Loud Thought

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This has got to stop!!! (Part 2)

This has got to stop!!! (Part 2)

Last time on My Loud Thought we read about what children are going through that we possibly don’t have an idea about as parents or guardians, and on this second part of “This has got to stop!!!”, we will be dealing with what we can do to help them.

Don’t ask me why it’s all about children these days, I was once a little child who couldn’t speak for herself. Yes, I was oppressed while I was growing up, *sighs* I can remember how I would cry to my mum and she kept on telling me that I am strong and I should always remember that No one is better than me because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Although the oppression got tougher as I grew, but my mum’s words kept me going -and it still does today. Then I didn’t know God the way I know him now but I was taught how to pray. So I would go down on my knees and pray to God to make me stronger and better, and yes he did.
I look back at those years now and thank God because it was a learning process for me and a blessing in disguise.

Why am I saying this? I’m saying it because most parents have chosen to feed their children with words that could destroy them rather than elevate them. It hurts me so much when I hear some parents speak negatively into the lives of their children. I have said it before and will say it again that the words we speak are like a plant that grows as the days go by.

So when you speak negatively into your children’s lives you sow a seed of low self-esteem, bitterness and above all, rejection. You make them feel that if their parents can’t see anything good in them then an outsider shouldn’t, which is not meant to be. We need to start professing good things to our children even when they get you so angry. Your thoughts toward them should be loving thoughts that can bring about upliftment in their lives.

Another thing we need to do for them is to keep them busy. An idle mind is the devil’s workshop…YES!!! When they are on holidays enrol them into good tutorial classes, which could be academic or non-academic like music lessons, ballet lessons, and other sports activities. Even educative camping is not a bad idea. Give it a try and you will be surprised at its unlimited benefits.

The minds of adults too, if left idle, are attacked by sinful thoughts and before we know it we start plotting evil. Keep the kids occupied with good activities. Get them inspirational books to read. Tell them stories about children who are making positive impact. Ask them what their dreams are, I mean, what they would like to become and enquire about how they intend to achieve it. By doing this, you keep their minds occupied with good objectives and ideas.

Finally we need to listen to them. Become their best friends and confidants. Our children need our attention and care toward their feelings. Harshness is definitely not the solution to it. Listen about their fears, dreams, concerns, ambitions, etc. Know what their favorite things are, monitor them and carry out assessments on them with story writings, or they could list the things they learned during the previous week. Ask them to tell you what happens in class and who their best friend is.

That brings me to the most important point which is to try as much as possible to know their friends. “Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” Have a good knowledge of their friend’s background.

All these things are important and go a long way in their lives. Don’t be a parent who scares children off. Don’t let them see you has the person with two horns on the head. We are meant to guide them and not scare them. And above all, pray for God’s discernment and wisdom to train them right and bring the best out of them.
If we do all these things, I believe our children will grow to become great leaders who will make great impacts in their generation.
God bless you!

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This has got to stop !!!

Whew ! First of all, Happy new month shout out to My Loud Thought Readers
(MLTR). You’ve been so wonderful these past three months with over 1000 views, it can only be God and of course, you! Thank you so much. This month will be a month of restoration for me and you (Amen).

Now I was reading a blog and I came across a post that brought tears to my eyes. I know most of us heard about the 8-year old girl who was raped to death by a 14-year old boy. Oh yeah, that look on your face was the same look I had on my face too. I really can’t go into details of the sad story here, but the story and the picture of the dead girl can’t stop coming to my head. The questions I keep asking myself are; what prompted it? What happened to the soul of that little boy? The first time it happened to that girl (because I heard that was the fourth time it was happening), what would she have felt deep down her soul? How did the boy learn to do such an evil thing? When? . . . Where? . . . Why? . . . and many more unanswered questions pop up.

Then it struck me! you see, until we stop playing songs like *shake your booty, touch you blah blah blah*, we should expect more of this evil act from these children. I am not saying that such songs are the only cause, but believe me,
this noise we call songs are also an essential ingredient for the evil act.

Hey, what we’ve failed to understand is the rate at which these children are growing mentally these days with technology and the whole “Jet Age” of a thing.

When kids hear something, it keeps playing in their heads, then they become
curious about it, the next thing is that they want to know how the thing is done and what happens when it’s done. This is how the mind of a child operates.

Another thing is what they see or watch on the TV and all. Our society is so infiltrated with evil that we term it “civilization”. We allow our children to watch any TV show they want to watch, we allow them go anywhere they want to go, not considering the psychological effect it could have on them. I remember very well when I was little, the only cartoon I was allowed to watch was Aladdin, and its likes. My favorite TV show was wrestling but I couldn’t watch it. I remember there were some channels which my parents would use parental guidance lock on because we were too young to understand what was going on. But these days, parents go out and buy very bad movies in the name of entertainment for their children, not knowing they are handing them over to destruction.

I also need to talk about the kind of friends these children keep. Some parents would say their children like having older friends . . . FOR WHAT?! Please what are they learning from them, have you ever questioned that? What do these “older friends” talk about in the kids’ presence, have you ever thought about that? What do they feed their brains with? What examples are they setting for the kids? It’s time to think about all these.

The bible says “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Training is not all about beating, it’s about monitoring them, talking & listening to them to know what they are going through. Yes! some parents will say they are too busy so they fill the house with maids, either male or female, or even both. Do you have an idea what they do to your children when left in their care? No!!

When you get home from your busy schedule check on them, ask them how their day was, ask them what happened in
school. Many parents would be shocked with what they would hear.

Please it is time we took these responsibilities seriously. God did not give these children to you because there wasn’t enough space in heaven, NO!!!
He gave them to you so that you can take care of them and train them in God’s ways to fulfil purpose.

Sometimes I wish some parents could actually look into their children’s eyes or open their heads (figuratively, abeg) to see the massive thoughts rumbling inside there. Please let’s stop this while we can. One thing I’m certain about is, however their futures turn out to be, it’s either you get an invitation letter into it or you get a rejection letter from it!

If your child is going through any negative experience, please don’t cover it up all in the name of “protecting the family name”!

Also, let’s pray for them always because the bible says “If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Let us correct them and stop saying he/she is the only child, I don’t want to deprive him/her of anything at all. If you don’t correct them now that they are kids,
when would you have the chance to, when
they are married?

I wish I could go on and on but I have to run now. May the soul of this innocent girl find peace in God!!!! *crying* Amen.

Do have a blessed week.

My Loud Thought with Jemima.