My pains.

It’s been a while friends, I’m so sorry but don’t worry I will not stop writing. Today I decided to share something a little bit personal with you my family right here. I hope you enjoy, learn and also give your advice on this. Sometimes I wish I could be robot-like, just as some people would want me to be, someone who would just answer to people without displaying any contrary opinion to theirs. You know, just like in the movie “Robocop”, but I guess even that robot had to rebel at some point when the elasticity limit was reached.

I have always been a good girl, literally, someone who wouldn’t mind letting people have their way even if it would cost me a great deal. I have always made sacrifices for people, people who might not even know it or appreciate it. I guess it’s my personality. However, one thing I observed is that some fellows tend to abuse that love and kindness you show to them, mistaking it for foolishness.

I planned on executing a project, a very good project. I discussed my idea with a friend but I was told, “why not wait for me, if we do it together it would be better.” Although I felt it was long overdue, I waited for my friend. I threw my own convenience into the closet for my own friend thinking the feeling was mutual but I was wrong. Without my knowledge she carried out the project, succeeded and didn’t say a word until I asked her if it was time we started together.

I was stunned. I had a mixed feeling of anger and disappointment, but smiled over it and didn’t say a word about it. I went on with the project alone, did some modifications and succeeded as well. I told my friend about the sucess and she got so angry and said that I wasn’t trustworthy and loyal to our friendship. At that point I guess I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I got very angry and for the first time in my life with friends I couldn’t let that pass!

I’m so tired of people thinking their friend understands, that he/she wouldn’t get angry even if they were being took for a ride. No! Everyone has a right to get angry. But the anger should not consume you. Quench it and move on. Don’t turn into a zombie for people to see you as perfect, because no one is! That’s why we are humans dearie. Don’t bottle things up just like me, it could lead to serious bitterness or hatred towards one another. Please say your mind when necessary so you won’t keep hurting yourself.

Well I apologized for getting angry at my friend and explained how badly I felt about her betrayal. I hope she too would understand how hurt I was and hopefully stay loyal next time.
I feel so good telling you all how I feel, I feel so relieved. Pls do learn from my experience and share yours too below.

Much love
Jemima

Follow on twitter @jemimaTolase

Taking chances

My friends would tell you, “she’s a risk taker.” I love challenges when it’s for a good course with a good motive behind it. But put me in a position for an hour with nothing to do then I would cry of torture. For me, creativity is what brings about the risk and I would graciously dive into it – as long as God is involved. I call that a calculated risk. Some of us are so scared of failure that we have become addicted to our comfort zone, be it in a relationship, work, etc. Some people are just okay with less, so far it’s within the sphere of their comfort zone.

I’m not saying we should jump blindly into doing something, but I’m saying maybe we have been too cautious that we end up missing out on the great opportunities. Earlier, I read an article that stated, “our risk taking ancestors were survivals.” You see, one thing about taking risk is that it is essential for development. It builds us up, it builds our confidence and helps us break down walls of fear. A professor said that in order to grow, we need to experience challenges, whether we are age 4, 14, or 40.

I want you to know that taking chances is very important for anyone who wants to be emotionally resilient, confident, happy and engaged with life. Everyday, do one thing that has always placed itself as a challenge before you. Let’s look at a baby who is old enough to start walking, if the baby tries the first time and falls down, then he stops trying, well, the baby would have to enjoy crawling for years until he or she is ready to take up the challenge again.

“The best learning happens just beyond our comfort zone” – Ungar. After you’ve taken chances, what you get is a sense of satisfaction that comes from trying something new and proving you’re up to the task. So friend, just because no one around you has tried something out, or has succeeded in a particular adventure doesn’t mean you will fail at it. You have to go out of that zone and surprise yourself by doing something extraordinarily good!

Much love
Jemima