Define Your Relationship.

*clears my throat* okay, I know I would step on some toes for this write-up, but well, that’s the fun part of it: saying the truth as bare as it should be.

Shout out to all the people who define relationships, I tell you that’s one great way to have a peaceful living. By the time you’re through with this article you’d have feelings of being happy, hurt, bad, relief, or maybe all of them. My heart goes out to the people who are experiencing one pain or the other, simply because they failed to give certain relationships in their lives a definition.

I use to have a friend who would tell me, “I do have a girlfriend, but I like this other girl so much that I can’t stop thinking about her.” (Yes I know that look on your face) I always retorted with this question, “If you like her so much, then why is she not the girl with you?” and he would say it’s complicated or “Jemima, you won’t understand”, which is an intelligent, concise way of saying “I really don’t have a good answer to that question. I hate to tell you I’m confused.” I do know of a great person who stopped being friends with a guy because the relationship didn’t have a definition. They were together for 5 years but he never said anything about their future together. All he kept saying was “we’ll cross the bridge when we get there”. Well I had to ask if the bridge was not an earthly one because I couldn’t imagine not getting to the bridge in 5 valuable years, if you know what I mean.

When you’re able to define your relationship, you will have an idea about your destination and what you will need to get there. A non-defined relationship, especially between two adults is time wasting. It’s going on a bumpy ride on a blindfold. Defining your relationship gives you a clear head and a direction, shows you’re mature enough to know what you want and don’t want. I’m tired of people saying they really don’t know what their relationship is.

Ladies, please stop telling yourselves that you are still waiting for a perfect time to talk seriously with him about your future. Don’t let any guy put you in a tight corner. If he doesn’t have a definition after all, then talk to your own self my dear and define what you want!
Guys, she keeps telling you, “I like you so much but …” then she gets angry if you don’t call her five times a day, or tell her good night. Chances are that you are just her rebound guy and not her knight in shiny armour. Her big picture doesn’t have you in it. Don’t let her waste your time. You need to give it a definition before it defines you.
Your ability to define your relationship shows your level of responsibility and vision.

My dear readers, your views and contributions are welcome. Please post your comments below. I also look forward to reading your mails (

Love you much


Where are the Nation Buiders!!!!

Hmmm, The world we knew: That world where I would go to school in the morning, and my mum didn’t have to look so sad but happy. The world I knew was the one where all children could play anytime, anywhere and with anyone without people calling securities to find out about that person. The world I knew was the one where we spent peaceful time in the gathering of the brethren, and we would sing “I rejoice when they say, let us go to the house of the Lord.” But now the world we are in is a world filled with so much evil, hatred, envy, greed, insecurities and lies.

I passed by a church and I saw armed soldiers on guard at the church entrance, I was about to ask what was happening when someone said “hmmm, God have mercy on us, even the church is no more a safe place.” Then I remembered my little neighbours that were kept back home for a week all because their parents were scared and doubted the safety of the schools.

I was watching the network news the other day and all I saw on the news was bloodshed of innocent people, manslaughter, kidnapping. So many thoughts went through my mind. Why is there so much hatred and wickedness for one another? I had a chat with a few people and we discussed about the state of my country, Nigeria. The youths seem to have lost all hope. At some point I realized I was almost losing mine too, but then I reminded myself that great structures are not built with weak bricks. I have to stay strong, we have to stay strong. We are the strength of this great nation.

Unfortunately, this nation is governed by leaders who are embodiments with greed and wickedness, and do not have the fear of God in them. Do you wonder why these leaders haven’t taken the bull by the horns and make a truly progressive decision on the issues currently going on in the country? Well, I don’t think they can because most of them seem to be the backbone of evil constantly tormenting the masses in the country. They have forgotten that if it does not catch up with them it would catch up with their future generation – nemesis never misses.

Youths get serious! Fight for what is rightfully yours. Why allow yourself to be used by these old and crafty political rascals whose own children are outside the country, growing peacefully into their bright future while yours is being destroyed?! The problem is that most of the youths in Nigeria don’t even know their rights any longer. All they do is adapt to every new form of slavery, just as these evil leaders planned it.

Youths, it is time we stood up for justice! How long shall you continue to live without a real hope for the country’s future. You short-sighted youths! Stop manipulating elections for political scoundrels! Oh what a foolish thing to do! For every coin you take as bribe from these politicians today is what you and your generation pay with blood for years. They have destroyed so much already but do not let them destroy your being too. You and I can stand up and make this country a better one. Just like the Israelites, it could take years to achieve but focus on cleaning up this mess for good. Believe that YOU ARE THE STRONG BRICK NEEDED TO MAKE THIS NATION GREAT! Change your myopic mentality. Work diligently and be upright. The vision is for an appointed time. Stop eating the fruit of your labour when it is not yet ripe. Stay focused and be determined to stand out as a great individual. It is too late to give up! We can’t give up because if we do give up, that means we have all failed!

But remember, you can’t afford to fail, my fellow NATION BUILDERS.

Twitter: @JemimaTolase