Define Your Relationship.

*clears my throat* okay, I know I would step on some toes for this write-up, but well, that’s the fun part of it: saying the truth as bare as it should be.

Shout out to all the people who define relationships, I tell you that’s one great way to have a peaceful living. By the time you’re through with this article you’d have feelings of being happy, hurt, bad, relief, or maybe all of them. My heart goes out to the people who are experiencing one pain or the other, simply because they failed to give certain relationships in their lives a definition.

I use to have a friend who would tell me, “I do have a girlfriend, but I like this other girl so much that I can’t stop thinking about her.” (Yes I know that look on your face) I always retorted with this question, “If you like her so much, then why is she not the girl with you?” and he would say it’s complicated or “Jemima, you won’t understand”, which is an intelligent, concise way of saying “I really don’t have a good answer to that question. I hate to tell you I’m confused.” I do know of a great person who stopped being friends with a guy because the relationship didn’t have a definition. They were together for 5 years but he never said anything about their future together. All he kept saying was “we’ll cross the bridge when we get there”. Well I had to ask if the bridge was not an earthly one because I couldn’t imagine not getting to the bridge in 5 valuable years, if you know what I mean.

When you’re able to define your relationship, you will have an idea about your destination and what you will need to get there. A non-defined relationship, especially between two adults is time wasting. It’s going on a bumpy ride on a blindfold. Defining your relationship gives you a clear head and a direction, shows you’re mature enough to know what you want and don’t want. I’m tired of people saying they really don’t know what their relationship is.

Ladies, please stop telling yourselves that you are still waiting for a perfect time to talk seriously with him about your future. Don’t let any guy put you in a tight corner. If he doesn’t have a definition after all, then talk to your own self my dear and define what you want!
Guys, she keeps telling you, “I like you so much but …” then she gets angry if you don’t call her five times a day, or tell her good night. Chances are that you are just her rebound guy and not her knight in shiny armour. Her big picture doesn’t have you in it. Don’t let her waste your time. You need to give it a definition before it defines you.
Your ability to define your relationship shows your level of responsibility and vision.

My dear readers, your views and contributions are welcome. Please post your comments below. I also look forward to reading your mails (

Love you much


6 thoughts on “Define Your Relationship.”

  1. I so much relate with this, especially with the latter part where you described the ladies that won’t want a relationship but would launch an air strike if you fail to call ’em or act like a proper boyfriend. I mean, that’s like the complaining about a company’s dividend when you’re not even a shareholder. B.S!

    Definition is germane. It’s the only way to avert the friend-zone or alternative-guy/girl situations.

    Been a while Jemima, nice job.


  2. A PERIODIC OPEN and HONEST (what’s on your mind.. what’s in your heart) discussion is ESSENTIAL for a lasting FRUITFUL relationship.
    Wonderful post, Jemima.


  3. Abram went in search of the city whose builder is God.
    Jesus said “I must do the work of my father while its yet day…”
    Pls if you don’t know the road to the bridge, you will never get to it let alone crossing it.
    Be wise like Jemima


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