Lots of thoughts find their way to my head whenever I get a chance to sit by a pool (lol) I still don’t know why so please don’t ask me, as I stared into the blue color of the sky I remembered a very ugly scene from way back in my head. A particular friend of mine in secondary school all of a sudden stopped talking to me, I tried all I could to know what was wrong but she wasn’t ready to say, while I was talking to a mutual friend of ours I expressed my worries about our friend who hasn’t spoken to me in a while, she pretended to be bothered and faked making peace between both of us, went behind my back and said God knows what to our friend.
I wouldn’t know what they both said but the whole thing turned out so bad, made me cry and ruined my friendship with them.
I realized after so many years that if I had confronted the situation it wouldn’t have turned out to be that bad at the time.
Now, I must say If you ask my very few friends if I like confrontation, they would boldly answer yes!.
Let’s see what does confrontation means?
Confrontation : An argumentative meeting between two parties.
It took me very long time before I could start confronting both people and situation because I felt I didn’t want to displease the other person or want them to feel bad about themselves. As I grew in wisdom and experience I realized sometimes when you confront a situation it becomes less difficult for you. There are so many people in our society today who do not love confrontation, even while those they love are hurting them they prefer to suffer in silence.
Well, I would have said it’s okay but no! It is not okay. There is need to understand that confrontation isn’t about starting a fight or war, it’s about addressing problems, issues, and finding solutions to them. when you refuse to confront issues
One thing is clear, you begin to resent people involved secretly and when resentment sets in it causes strain on relationships and then you withdraw away from those relationships. It is quite hard telling people what you don’t like about their actions, words but at the end of the day, it helps both you and the other party become better people
I know lots of people who lost their jobs, marriages, friends and lots more because the couldn’t dare ask question or confront a situation they found themselves in, sometimes most of us decides to keep quiet about a whole lots of things because of “what if he/she gets angry?
What if am wrong at the end?
What if I loose him or him?
But have you ever asked yourself what if I loose my inner peace thinking of how hurtful this has made me?.
In my opinion, I think there is absolutely no harm done in been confrontational. All we need to know is there are different ways to confront different people. For instance If an elderly person does or says something you need to clarify, you don’t go in the persons face all rude and ready to fight no! You have to be matured and respectful at the same time trying to know why and how of matter. Before you decide to confront a situation here are few tips you might need to know,
What exactly it is you’re against in the situation.
Be sure to know what you feel and how you feel
Be ready to listen to the other person without been defensive.
Be composed and don’t put your hands in their face while trying to talk.
Be sure you are free of anger or emotions that could escalate the situation.
The most important of all is be ready to reach a conclusion or a solution.
It’s time to stop the “letting it slide” attitude while you become a bitter person gradually. It’s time to ask question when you’re not clear, speak up when you’re hurt and experience peace in your heart .
Have a fruitful day.