Self Control and Self Discipline

Self Control and Self Discipline


One Brain for Two….What?!!

One brain for two…what?
Ladies get in here, okay guys come along too, but anything you see here wouldn’t and shouldn’t be used against us in the court of friendship or relationship. So I was meditating in my room, and I remembered this incident that occurred while I was in school. There was a particular girl group who called themselves “GOT” meaning “GIRLS ON TOP” well, from what I learnt and observed, they all believed when it comes to matters of relationship most especially with men, they controlled things not the other way round. That’s acceptable right? I did my underground study about this group (don’t ask me how please), not because I didn’t have a job, but I was so curious about who makes the rules and what happens when the rules are broken.
There was this lady her name Sandy (not the real name) she was their leader, they had all the theories of how to run the world without needing a man in it, if there was any man that caught their interest, they would go running to Sandy and she of course would be glad to teach them how to be the man and this went on for so many years.
One fateful day, during one of our exam periods, as she was about entering into the hall for a general course, she saw someone and could not help but stare. He was tall, dark and handsome, the most handsome guy she had ever set her eyes on. She knew instantly that she had lost the game. The more she tried to let her eyes off him, the more they stayed glued, One thing led to the other and before one month, they began talking and became inseparable since then. The fondness grew and there was something about him that she couldn’t explain but she knew one thing, that he was different. Gradually without knowing it, she started avoiding the ‘GOT’ group and after so many questions from the girls, she had to confess to them that she was in love and was so sorry to disappoint them, of course they were very sad, angry and couldn’t believe what they were all hearing, the question was how could she? Yes! The super woman, master of all games had fallen in love and this time for real.
All the ladies hated themselves for the decisions she’s ever made for them, they had put the key of their lives in the hand of a fellow lady and they couldn’t get it back, they were all back to square one, they were still drowned in their own regret, when she announced to them she was getting married to kelvin, of course they could only grumble and nothing more. They were all present at the wedding, they couldn’t fathom why and how she could be this happy but yes, they wanted to feel that happiness too. The question is where would they start from?
Please get in here! I would like to say this first “what rocks my boat, might never ever rock yours”. You see, you have to be very careful about how your friends advice you, and how you totally take in to advice. Sincerely it’s simply normal for an inexperienced to advice an inexperienced friend in a dilemma, but it’s very abnormal when the inexperienced friend in dilemma doesn’t bother weighing on the advice before she acts on it. I am going to be a bit blunt with you here, so please you would take me as I am (you know that love song right?) lol. 
Everyone, both men and women are entitled to one brain each! Right from the beginning of creation, and it is meant to be used and not laid to rest. Ladies, please you really need to stop letting people mess with your mind giving you funny ideas, for how long do you want to keep blaming people for your own mistakes? You were just been advised after all, but you took it all in hook, line and sinker and you acted on it!  I am so tired of some ladies saying she told me to date him. She told me to …You do have every option and whatever you decide on all balls on you, not me, not him, not them but you!
Remember the bible says everyone would give account for themselves not for your friends, families or enemies. Babe you see, that your friend that keeps telling you to go against your parents so they know you’re a big girl now, or not to listen nor respect your husband, telling you every time you find a good guy that love is not for you, believe me, it is all lies she is definitely pushing you towards a duplex in hell and I pray you would think twice about that advice, you know why? Let me tell you what would happen when she finds someone who is worth respecting and giving up the ego and all for…’ hian!!’ She wouldn’t even think about you before she moves on and all you do after then is cry on the bed, in the shower and regret alone. You need to realize she is just making a fool out of you and your brain and you know what? That her brain isn’t meant for the two of you but hers alone, so you have to wake up and use yours!
You need to retrace your steps if you’ve made a mistake, or think twice if you’re about to make one and talk to someone who has wisdom. Above all, talk to God the great teacher and listener, because everything you become today weather good or bad carries your name, face and personality on it.
I am going to have to put down my pen here and like, they say a word is enough for …
Love you always.



Compliment of the season to you my wonderful readers. Permit me to use this medium also to say a big thank you for all your prayers and support. May one love keep us together.
Special New Year shouts out to my editor-in-chief, Snipizle Sam (@Snipizle) for being a great friend and partner for over a year now.
This year looks very promising. Trust me; you have nothing to fear this year because great things will be happening. All you need to do is believe you can make it, surround yourself with positive people, and do not be afraid or ashamed to try repeatedly –using different ideas- until you achieve success. Above all, trust always in God because He alone can make all things possible. One of the reasons why I am so excited about this year is THIS ELECTION. I was with some people and the discussion about this year’s election came up. I had some friends who had set their minds on not voting at all, with reasons that at the end of the day it barely made a difference because the election would still not be a fair one as always. Others said that they would only vote for the people whom their families vote for. Only two persons (counting myself) said they would vote for someone whom they believe would make a positive impact and not for any biased reason.

Truth be told, sometimes when one reflects on how our past leaders had always promised and failed us at the end, you would rather take some sleeping pills on the day of election and give chance for the birds to vote. However, we cannot do that, can we? No. But like I always say, “if you can’t move the crowd, then choose to stand out.” Would you rather vote for someone who would buy people’s votes with money and vain material things? Or would you vote for a man who keeps thousands of thugs as his security? Why would I give my vote to a person who does not even know the price of anything in my country because he/she practically lived abroad all his/her life, only to show up now and campaign with the influence of his “godfathers”? Would you vote for whom your friends and families are voting for, or for someone you have faith in to make a real change?

This is our nation, our Nigeria, our home. No matter how far or how long we go, home will always be a place to come back to. This is why we have to choose wisely, not because the politician promises to fatten your personal bank account, but because he has what it really takes to be the right leader. Whatever choice you make this present year would affect the future years. Make wise long-term choices so you will never look back at the decisions with regretful eyes. Why let someone whose kids are in abroad use you as an instrument of violence? Be wise. Do not sell your right for a bag of rice. Your vote could bring the great change we pray for.


Twitter: @jemimaTolase
Pls contact me also for your catering services.
Love you!



Hi Everyone, hope it’s been a great Monday so far? Guess what? Am working on a very powerful article will definitely get to you soon. Am so sorry for the break, it’s all for the good of life.
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I don’t want to keep talking and talking just give them a call via the phone number you see or mail them believe me all you need is to think it, they would create it for you. Don’t say I didn’t tell you this, talk to you soon.

Love you!




She woke up three days later and had no idea where she was. The last thing she remembered was seeing her own blood and as she tried to sit up, she saw him sited at the corner of the room with his head lowered down. She looked around and realized she was in the hospital. “How did i get here? What day is this?’ She kept asking her herself.
He raised his head and saw she was awake, he himself had slept for about twenty minutes, he quickly moved to her side to help her sit up. She was about to start asking questions when he said “Thank God you are awake baby I thought I had lost you. I am so sorry” but she wasn’t interested in any apologies yet because all she wanted to know was why the blood.
The doctor came in while he was still talking and smiled. It was a female doctor and she checked her eyes, temperature, heart beat and other vitals. She asked her if she was feeling any pain or discomfort and she said “yes” and then the doctor asked what the problem was. The doctors face became sober and as she said “Miss Julian you are so lucky because we almost lost you but we are sorry we could not safe the baby” At this point, Robert was looking away. Julian Screamed “what! I was pregnant? Robert is it true that I was pregnant and that my baby is gone!” She cried aloud and Robert tried to calm her down while the doctor held her hand and said “Julian you are in a very delicate state now and as a matter of fact trying to have another baby would be humanly impossible, you went through a lot of stress and so we had to carry out some procedures to save your life , you would be fine as long as you take your medication but we have to keep you here for a few more days then you would be allowed to go home ” The doctor excuses herself and left the room. “No” she screamed, “I can’t lose my baby” she said “calm down baby God will give us another one” Robert said trying to pet her. She looked at him with great dismay and anger and said “Don’t say that to me again, Robert you’re wicked! Get out!! Go leave me!” She pushed him away and he left the room quietly. He would give her some time to settle down, he knew it would take her some time to forgive but he would wait and he is willing to give all it takes to make her happy again.

The hospital room was filled with flowers from Roberts, her colleagues and her family who had earlier called to know how she was doing. She had told them that it was a minor accident and that all was well. She hasn’t said a word to Robert since and she wasn’t ready even though she kept receiving gifts like diamonds necklaces, gold wrist watches and accessories, chocolates and the likes from him each passing day. She wasn’t willing to accept them not yet as she tried to get ready to be discharged. He was coming to pick her up from the hospital any moment soon and before long the door opened quietly. He stood at the door looking at her, she was already dressed with her bags already packed and as he smiled walking towards her to hug her, she ignored him, walked passed him and left him alone in the room. He shook his head in disappointment and carried her luggage.

It was a very quiet drive home as she slept almost half of the time they spent on their way home and at the other times she wasn’t asleep she would look outside the window totally ignoring him. He prayed silently for her to say something and as they got home, she alighted from the car and walked quietly into the house. She saw amazed when she saw balloons hanging from different parts of the ceiling and a decorated flex banner saying “Welcome home love” There was a cake and box wrapped with a ribbon beside it. She walked passed it to the dining table and she was even more surprised to see candle lights with her favorite food and her favorite bottle of wine. She almost succumbed to his advances and special treat but the thought of all that had happened and how she lost her baby toughened her up as she ran into the room, knelt on the floor and started to cry uncontrollably. He came into the room and started crying too and begged her to forgive him and talk to him. He told her to hit him, scream all she wanted if it will make her feel better. She looked him in the eye and said with tears flowing down her cheek “I have no words to say to you, but i would like to sleep now” He carried her up gently to the bed and laid her down to rest and as soon as she fell asleep, he left the room to the living room. He hated himself for what he had done and kept apologizing to her as though she was with him in the living room. He then realized how late it was, then went into the room to rest and as he laid down beside her, he whispered “please God don’t let her leave me, I can’t live without her” She closed her eyes hearing those words and sobbed quietly.

In the morning, he woke up, got ready and prepared breakfast for two before leaving the house. He came home very early from work and met her in the kitchen preparing dinner. He urged her to stop and hand over the cooking to him. He took over the kitchen work as sat down to watch him. She later stood up, said some words to him and went off to bed. He went to wake invite her for dinner but she was already fast asleep so he let her be. He joined her few hours later and called it a day. It is now two days with little or no communication between the two.
She was still sleeping when he left for work in the morning but this time he dropped a rose flower beside her with a sorry note attached to it. He was determined to change for good and also planned to call her mother to explain everything to her and probably ask her to plead on his behalf.

She woke up at exactly 10 o’clock as she sat down to plan her day. She was feeling much better now and she needed to get back to her office work and probably get some things done for the day. It was Friday already and she couldn’t wait till Monday. She checked the calendar on her phone, it was three days to valentine but all the excitement she always had for this valentine was lost. She quickly rushed to the bathroom to have her bath. It took her over an hour to get to the office and as she stepped into the office, everyone stood up to welcome her. She went into her office and picked up from where she left and made sure she got some work done.

Her phone rang and she looked and saw that it was Robert. This was going to be the 7th time he would be calling her in 3 hours and she had picked once to tell him that she was busy at the office but almost done and would be shutting down her system very soon. He wanted to know what she would want for dinner. She had replied him already saying anything he wanted would be fine but because he was been careful around her and didn’t want to upset her in anyway, he called again to be sure if what he had in mind would be what she wouldn’t mind having for dinner. He knows that he had hurt her times without number only that this time it was different because a baby was involved. He also knows that for obvious reasons she was still angry with him but he was willing to give her the time she needs to heal. It was going to be a tough decision and a difficult situation to handle but he was willing to go all the way.

She got home and she could perceive the aroma of well-cooked fries and roasted chicken from the living room. He was whistling when she entered the kitchen and from behind, she hugged him and smiled. He planted a kiss on her forehead and told her to go and freshen up knowing that he would be done by the time she’s done bathing. She came back 20mins later and straight into the dining room smelling all fresh. The diner that night was a wonderful one as they both talked and laughed but he was very careful not to mention any thing or crack jokes that would remind them about their loss or stand the chance of ruining the whole evening. They both finished and retired to the bedroom but as soon as he tried touching her, she withdrew herself and said good night and so he kissed her good night. He couldn’t sleep immediately as he hated himself for what he did and wondered how long this silence would continue. After hours of deep thoughts and sleeplessness he soon fell asleep. Their Saturday was a very quiet one she slept most of the day .

The next day being Sunday, they prepared for the Sunday ritual and surprisingly went to church together for the first time in a long while. The preacher preached about self-love. The message was so touching that she got out with tears to rededicate her life to Christ during the altar call. She felt new after the experience and felt like someone who just found a lost treasure. Their Sunday evening was a good one too. She was so happy that she couldn’t hide it because it was written all over her face. Later that same day, they went to the cinemas, spent some quality time and headed back home late in the evening. On their way home, he asked her what she wanted for valentine and she smiled and said “peace”. He smiled aback and said I promise you peace as from this moment on and I’m very sorry for all the pains I have caused you. They both cried and laughed as though it was a mixed feeling. It was indeed a memorable day for them and he was looking forward to the next day being Monday the 14th of February which of course is Valentine’s Day. He couldn’t wait to present his gift to her. It would be a customized bracelet and ring with their initials on it he thought as they both went to sleep happily.

He woke up around 5am and quietly went to his car, brought out the gift and placed it quietly beside her, went ahead to prepare for work and left quietly around 7. She was still very much asleep when he left but when she woke up around 8am, she noticed the box beside her with a an inscription on it that says happy valentine my love. She opened it quietly and couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks. The gifts were beautiful but it was just too late for gifts and flowers because her mind had been made up already.

She stood up to check her emails and got a reminder from the airlines that her flight was for 9pm and that she has to be there 2hrs before time for proper checking in. She had resigned from work on Friday and booked a flight to the states she was going to join the rest of her family. She would be travelling to the states to be with her family and to begin her life afresh. She thought to herself… “She would love herself just as Christ loved her” She wasn’t sure if she could live without Robert but she knew she wouldn’t have peace with him it was high time she found her peace in Christ who of course was her first love. She packed all her bags and belongings, had her bath and got dressed, picked his calls as though all was well. She finished packing around 2pm and then she went out to get her nails and hair done, returned to the house at about 5:30pm, prepared his meal and got ready for her final departure. Just as she was about to leave, she picked up a pen and paper and she wrote…
      “My Dear Robert,
       It’s been a sweet sad journey with you; you made me cry you made me laugh
       But most of all you made me think my happiness could only be found in you
       But i was glad to figure out how wrong you were
       All i needed was just to go find that happiness deep within me
       I know I wronged you lots of times baby
       So many times you thought I cheated on you
       But am glad that with you I was faithful
       I would always be grateful for your support and love
       I would never forget the love we shared
       But as much as you thought you loved me
       It became clear to me that it is a “rough love”
       And that is why I have to go and find my own love from within me
       I have to leave this “rough love”
       It is what I need to find myself
       Don’t look for me because I will be out of the country in an hour
       I love you…”
She left her engagement ring on the letter, looked around the house for the last time and left. The cab was outside waiting for her already. she didn’t look back or else she might change her mind…She thought as she cried all the way to the airport. It was really over between them. She couldn’t handle the ‘Rough Love’ anymore.

He came into the house feeling very jumpy and happy. He had a surprise for Julian, he had ordered for the latest Range Rover sport car for her and as he walked into the living room, he was amazed at the things he saw. There were coloured sweet scented candles lit around strategic places in the house and from a distance he could see his favorite wine in the ice bucket. “Wow” he sighed “Finally” he said ‘She is ready to forgive me”, And with that boldness, he walked towards the dining table, calling out for her as he moved closer to the wine and saw the ring on a white piece of paper. Just then, he shouted “NO!!!! pleases Julian don’t do this to me please!!!” he opened the letter, read it and ran up the stairs, he couldn’t hold back the tears and as he got to the room and saw that all her things were gone, he ran back down stairs shouting her name, he ran out into the streets shouting her name and asking anyone he came across if they saw his Julian, they all shook their heads in pity and knew he was beginning to lose it. After all the display, he managed to return back to the house. The candles had died out already and the house had become dark, it felt more empty and silent like a grave yard. It was as if he could hear his own heartbeat. He cried out with a loud voice again and again “Julian!” “Julian!” “Julian!” and then he turned on the switch, took the bottle of wine and opened it. He took several gulps and sat on the floor. He read the letter over and over again, he picked the bottle and threw it at their picture, the photo frame fell off the wall with a shattering noise he picked the ring up and held it to his heart and sobbed bitterly. “My life is over without you Julian, it’s really over” he said and he fell to the ground and blanked out.




Rough love 3

She kept crying and her vision became blur, he remained on his knees and he was scared of the outcome, he wasn’t sure of what she was going to say. He thought maybe she didn’t hear him the first time and so he repeated his question again “Julian please will you marry me?” She laughed out loud and said “Oh sorry all those tears meant YES!! I WILL”. He stood up and lifted her up from the chair and whirled her around, set her down and kissed her. The rest of the dinner was the best ever and their lovemaking that night was magical she could swear no had ever touched her like the way he did.

The next one month was the best for her and she wished it never ended. He showered her with lots of gifts and affection and she was looking forward to the future they would share together. They both have called their families to let them know of their wedding arrangements and promised to let them know as soon as they had picked the date.

It was exactly one month and three weeks when Richard called her up one afternoon, he told her he would love to have lunch with her and that he had great news that couldn’t wait to share. She saw it has a good excuse to take a break from work that day as she has been feeling so tired of late. She stood up 30mins to the time and left for lunch.

She saw his car as she was driving into the parking lot meaning that he had gotten there before her. She wondered what the news was all about and as she entered into the restaurant with a broad smile on her face. There he was sited with a glass of wine and waiting for her to come so they could order their meal. He stood up to give her a quick kiss and reminded her of how beautiful she was, she smiled and sat down. He strolled back to his seat and beckoned on the waiter to come. She couldn’t help but notice how happy he was. He kept smiling and it was like the word excitement was written all over him but she couldn’t guess what it was all about. She couldn’t hold it anymore, it was time he let the cat out of the bag. She cleared her throat and said “Richard please I am dying to know whatever the good news is please”. He smiled, held her hand and said, “My love I got a letter this morning and it was stated there that am now the MD of the biggest branch in the southwest” Wao! She let out a cry; she wanted to scream but managed to control it. She was extremely happy about the news.

Lunch too was amazing as they talked, joked and laughed together. He looked at his wrist watch and realised that he had to get back to his office for a meeting with some clients. She too had to get back to the office; she had loads of work on her table. He promised to be home early and as they got into the car park, they hugged each other goodbye and marched towards their cars. His phone rang, it was from his office so he stopped to receive the call. She too had almost gotten into her car when she heard someone’s shout ” The girl with an angels voice!” she paused, she wasn’t sure who the person was but she knew it would been someone from way back in school.

She turned to see who it was and shouted in amazement “Tunde! Is this really you? It’s been ages. How have you been? They hugged each other. They were in the same department back then in school and were really good friends too.
Richard was just about to drive out from the parking lot when he looked at his side mirror and saw Julian hugging some guy. Immediately, he stepped on the brakes, almost hitting the car in front of him because he was carried away at a time. In annoyance and great anger, he jumped out of his car and started walking towards them. Julian looked with the corner of her eyes and noticed him approaching.”Oh God not today” She said to herself. Tunde was still talking to her when Richard got to him; Julian saw the way Richard had prepared his fist and tried to prevent what was about to happen but it was too late to stop the punch from landing on Tunde’s face. Tunde landed on the ground and as he tried to get up, Richard rushed him and started punching him. It was a tug of war between both parties. Tunde was shocked as to what he had done wrong and at the same time tried to prevent more punches from getting at him. Julian kept shouting at Richard “Richard, it’s not what you think he is my friend!” Before long, people began to gather around and also, the securities were alerted and so separated them.

Tunde managed to get to his feet and looked at Julian and as she walked to him to apologise she felt a strong hand around her neck pulling her away. It was Richard and he was pulling her towards his car. “Richard! Stop this you’re hurting me, let me go he is just my friend!” All her pleads and explanations were falling on deaf ears as he pushed her into the passengers sit and banged the door. With so much anger, he entered into the car and kicked the car, the engine roared to life and he immediately stepped on the accelerator and zoomed off. 

She had no more strength in her as she kept weeping. He called his office he wouldn’t be able to return to the office and postponed all meetings till the next day. He also called Julian’s secretary and told her he was calling to let her know she wasn’t feeling too well and then he glanced at her with this angry look on his face. Julian knew that that night wasn’t going to be a good one and she wished she hadn’t woken up today.

As soon as they got home, he tried to pull her out of the car. She started begging him again and hoping he would let her be. He continued and eventually dragged her down into the living room. She was tired already and now she couldn’t argue anymore. He pulled her head up to face him and shouted “Who was that guy? One of those idiots who want to spoil you abi? Answer me you ingrate I said who the hell was that guy?!” She managed to answer him with the little energy left in her. “He is my friend from school and today is the first time we would be seeing in so many years, I can’t hurt you baby I love you” And to him it sounded like “Oh that guy? He is my lover and I am not scared of you! “

He spun her around, hit her against the wall and then hit her in the face, she fell back flat on the floor and couldn’t bring herself to stand up again. She felt like she was dying slowly. He picked a flower vase from the floor and threw it against the wall and with a loud noise, it shattered on the ground. She immediately felt something warm flowing between her legs and she put her hands between her legs, brought it up to her face and saw that it was her blood. She knew she had started bleeding and then using the last strength remaining in her, she shouted “Richard! Richard! You need to!” he shouted back at her “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down you cheat!”

” Richard am bleeding” She managed to talk and then he moved closer to her and noticed it was true, and started to shout “Oh no! baby please no no … I didn’t mean all I said, I lost my mind but am sorry” Now her eyes were gradually closing and to her everything sounded like an echo from a distance. She was slowly losing consciousness but to her it didn’t matter anymore because she was going to a better place…

to be continued.



He layed on his bed and couldn’t bring himself to stop thinking about this strange girl, there was something about her but he couldn’t quite figure it out yet but, he promised himself he was going to. He checked the bedside clock it was almost 4am in the morning he needed to sleep now, he had an early morning class before travelling .

she went on with her daily activities but kept checking her phone to see if it was going to ring any moment, she didn’t know why but she was looking forward to his call.

He called her after three days for almost an hour she felt like a queen and ever since then a day hasn’t gone without them talking to each other. They became inseparable after their second meeting and began dating after few months. she couldn’t believe how lucky she was  handsome man in her life. He loved her and showered her with lots of gifts and affection. He had a good job and she too got a good job after her service. Her parents relocated to the states but she stayed back because of him and she couldn’t survive any distance relationship not now especially after they both agreed to make the best of their lives in Nigeria.

She was jerked back to reality when she felt his palms on her thigh, he was still sleeping . She quickly stood up and as she hurried to the bathroom she glanced at the bedside clock. It was few minutes to six in the morning, she couldn’t believe she has been awake since last night. She quietly closed the bathroom door behind her sat in front of the mirror to check the bruises on her back, her silk night gown was stained already with blood, her own blood how can she forget what happened that night.

She got home very late from work after all the exhausting traffic then she tried resting for an hour before she prepared dinner she knew he was going to be home soonest and so she made the quickest meal she could lay her hands on chicken and chips with tomato sauce was his favourite anyway . She finished the whole dinner by 9:50pm and expected him to be home anytime soon. She changed into her night dress and sat to watch her favourite tv show “how do i look?”. She heard his car come in and sighed. She wasn’t sure whether to be happy or sad she wasn’t sure what tonight holds yet and its been like this for months now . He had called her earlier from the office but his call was on “call waiting” because she was on the phone with her mum at a time, she called him back immediately but he didn’t pick and she she knew it was going to be an issue.

He was furious, he was eager to know who she was talking to that was so important to her that made his call wait on her phone. His strides into the house was full of anger and as he came inside, he went straight into the room and didn’t respond to her greetings and then she knew that the dinner was going to be a great waste. He came out unto the dining table to join her. She pretended to be interested in the food until he broke the silence by calling out her name “Julian can you stop your food to answer my question for a minute?” She cleared her throat and dropped her fork, raised up her eyes and saw what looked like a clout of fire in his eyes. Her hands were shaking, she knew trouble was in her face and not around the corner anymore. He started by saying “I called you earlier at work but you seem to be talking to a very important person, more important than me and so you left my call waiting”. She was about to talk when he said ” naa…I haven’t finished yet, so who the hell was calling you?!. He banged the table repeatedly as he asked “who?!” “who?!” he banged it so hard that it tripped off a ceramic plate. It fell and broke into pieces. She bent to pick the broken pieces and while she was picking, he was standing over her and ready to descend on her. She answered “my mum called”, he pulled her up and shouted “is that why you can’t look me in the eye?, its very obvious you’re lying! so tell me who called you? one of those men that wants to spoil you rotten?! She tried pushing him away and whispered “you’re hurting me pleaseeeeeee” she was crying already but he cared less and ignored the fact that he was causing her much pain. There was so much anger in his eyes, he pushed her to the wall and then she hit a nail hanging from the wall. She could feel the piercing into her skin and she knew she must be bleeding but she didn’t realise her gown was already soaked with blood.

She felt her backside and realised she was soaked in her own blood. As she struggled and struggled, she finally managed to pull away from him and ran into the bathroom, he ran after her but he was not fast enough as she slammed the door and managed to lock the door leaving him outside. He started begging her to open the door and pleaded with her and said a lot of sorry words but she turned deaf ears to what he was saying not because she didn’t care but because she was too weak to talk, argue or fight. She came out of the bathroom hours later when she was so sure he would be asleep.

The tub was already filled for a bath, she had to be ready for work early so she rushed her bath and dressed up as quickly as possible. She wanted to be out of the house before he wakes up. She got to the office at 8’0clock sharp and went through her todo list for the day. The secretary had written it all out for her and left it on her table. She went in for the meeting at 9am and by 12noon she was done but just as she stepped out from the board room she started feeling her head banging and noticed a rise in her body temperature. She knew she needed some aspirin and some food too.  She sat on her table and couldn’t stop herself from crying. Oh! He wasn’t the sweet person she fell in love…she thought to herself, he was a complete different person now but she loved him still anyways.

She wasn’t certain if life was going to be meaningful without him and no matter what happens, she was determined to make ‘them’ work. She wished she had someone to talk to  but she hadn’t any friend. He had always told her that he didn’t want her to associate with her female counterparts because according to him having friends can ruin her life. He says friends will give you crazy ideas and bad advice about issues. So they both agreed that she was not going to keep friends.

She called her secretary to tell her she was going for lunch and she was about stepping out of her office, she noticed a delivery man with a large bouquet of rose flower entering her office. She asked who it was for and he mentioned her name.  She signed for it and noticed that it came with a gift box too what looked like wrist watch. She took it into her office and saw the attached note. It read “I’m sorry Angel” she knew it was from him.
He had done something similar when they had a fight so reached for the box and opened it. She saw the most beautiful diamond bracelet. She was so happy that she immediately got relieved of the headache. Coincidentally, he called her immediately and apologised to her and said he was going to be home early that day. She rushed for her car keys and smiled all the way to her car feeling ontop of the world. She was so happy  that she forgot she was hungry and had initially wanted to grab something to eat.

He got home before her and as she entered the living room, she couldn’t help but notice the strategically positioned lighted colourful scent candles all over the place. She could have sworn they were sent from heaven and as she trailed the flowers to the dining table and she saw him standing there to welcome her. She couldn’t believe her eyes. She felt like she was day dreaming or let’s just say she needed to be brought back to reality with a pinch.

They sat opposite each other. She couldn’t stop smiling and couldn’t believe this was happening. Her prayers were answered… he was ready to be better person for her, she thought… she adjusted her chair and tasted the meal, she was so impressed that the food tasted really good. As she was about to complement him about the food, she felt something mixed in the potion of food she took. She spilled it out it landed back into her plate. She picked it up to be sure what kind of stone got into her meal… on seeing what it was she screamed “oh my God, it a lie! ” and right before her eyes she couldn’t believe it as he went on his kneels and before she could say anything he started saying how he has been so unfair to her, how he was sorry for everything and how he was ready to make it work if she would forgive him. He also told her how much he loved her and how his life would be incomplete without her. Now in tears, she couldn’t believe everything that was happening. She didn’t know what to say…could this be for real? she thought…



Standing in the shadow of the rising sun she could see from the corner of her eyes he was sleeping soundly. She turned to study him he was 6ft3 with the smoothest skin you can ever imagine she had always loved tall guys and she knew she was going to end up with one someday. His muscles appeared so calm and while asleep his chest would move back and forth to the rhythm of his breathe. She moved closer to study his face, the setting sun was now casting it shadows on his face now making it appear like a silhouette.

She remembered well how it all started, she had always known that music was her first love she would give anything to attend a musical concert on campus. She was so good and everyone knew it, people would tell her her voice brings nothing but happiness to them and she knew it too. She enjoyed the attention her voice brought to her. She always made this silly joke that the attention her voice got was more that what her face could ever get and even though her friends always told her she was beautiful. She knew the whole sentence was just to console her because she knew deep down she wasn’t beautiful. Nevertheless, she wasn’t complaining because she had learnt early in life to accept whatever life had to offer you and that was how she learnt to accept her scarred face. She was told a story of how she barely escaped death in a fire accident at their apartment when she was little, that was how her face got a larger share of the burns. She had to go for plastic surgery and thanks to God and her rich parents who made her look less of a monster.

Every guy was her very good friend but none of them was comfortable enough to ask her out and so while her friends were having boyfriends going on dates and all, she would remain in her room listening to the latest songs which contributed to her great love for music but most of the times she would love up on her academics and study really hard. No wonder she ended up top of her class.

Towards the end of her final year there was an annual jazz concert that was going to take place on campus, she was excited and looking forward to that day. The day finally came but all her friends came up with the excuse of having an all night tutorial to make up for missed classes nevertheless, she was determined not to let them ruin her fun so she decided to go all alone.

She arrived at the venue 30minutes early to the concert and the hall was filled already, thanks to getting an earlier ticket at the front roll, she sat at her table an planned to listen to the songs on her phone while she waited. She was looking forward to a great night.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and smiled to greet whoever it was. She looked up and saw the most handsome man in existence and she couldn’t stop smiling nor take her eyes off him and whatever he was saying to her hit deaf ears because she just kept saying yes. Just as she continued to day-dream, she saw another hand entangled in his, she looked up and saw a pretty girl standing there. “Oh God, he is taken” she said as she watched both of them share the same table with her. She checked her phone it was 5minutes to the show and the anchor of the show had started talking, so she removed her earpiece to listen to what he was saying and coincidentally on time too to experience what she called a situation turn around. The mac dreamy girl wasn’t his girlfriend after all, she stood up to announce that she had to leave. Her boyfriend was around, so he hugged her and said he was going to find another friend for the night.

A part of her was happy because now its just the two of them left on the table, “he wouldn’t have a choice but to say hello” she thought as she pretended to be engrossed in her phone. He was looking at her now and she could feel it but she wasn’t sure why he was looking. Oh no! she should have known he was looking at her scarred face…he cleared his throat and said “hey friend what’s your name?” she replied with a smile and said “Julian and you are?” “Oh my bad I am Richard, Richard Jacobs” she replied “oh good”  and returned back to her phone. he thought to himself “I like her already she’s  composed” he shifted his chair closer because of the loud sound so he wouldn’t have to shout. He said “Julian am sorry but as anyone ever told you’re beautiful?” she was shy now she looked away and said “oh well not today” he laughed loud and said “then am lucky to be the first” they talked a lot during the concert and it finally came to an end. She enjoyed every bit of it but she knew at the end of the day he was going to give her one of those lines “its so nice to meet you thanks for your time and see you around” She turned to say goodbye before those words came out of his mouth when he asked if he could drop her off . Oh my God! she was surprised, “he was a gentle man after all” she thought to herself as she gave him the direction to her hostel. They talked all the way and they both wished the night wouldn’t end but all this was going to end soon at the gate because they were just seconds away from it. Well, she knew his name, the fact that he was in school for his masters and she would always remember that and smile after tonight. She was still lost in her thoughts when he asked if he could see her again, she almost spilled her guts couldnt help but coughed and said “sorry I didn’t get that” he smiled and said “I asked for your number your excellency” Right there, she prayed and said “God bless the founder of jazz”. “Oh okay then” she called the digits.he promised her he was going to call her and said goodnight. She wasn’t sure if she ran, skipped or break-danced to the hostel but she knew her future was becoming brighter with an handsome man in it.

When you are inbetween…

Hi there!

Tonia and Sharon are best of friends, and together they have experienced lots of memories – good and bad times. Then along the way, life connects Sharon with some very nice people whom she eventually became cool friends with. She was very excited to introduce her best friend, Tonia, to her new circle. Sharon was almost certain that both parties would blend. After all, Tonia always liked everything she liked so this would be no different. The first hang-out together was quite fun. It was just as Sharon had predicted, everyone seemed happy. But as time went by, Sharon gradually realized that her big dream of having a chain of wonderful friends isn’t going as planned. Slowly and unconsciously, her friendship with Tonia began to deteriorate. Sharon tried bridging that gap by asking herself and her best friend what the problem could be, but she could not find an answer. On Sharon’s birthday, she decided to spend the evening having fun with her friends – old and new friends. It was on that day it dawned on her that the new friends were the cause of the distance between her and Tonia her bestie. Sharon realized that most of her attention was being given to her new friends now, while Tonia, whom used to get all her attention now played second fiddle role. Sharon is stuck in this unwanted dilemma. She definitely doesn’t want to lose her best friend Tonia, but she can’t leave her new friends too, they are wonderful!

Have you ever found yourself in Sharon’s position? If you have, please do share your experiences with us and how you resolved the issue.

Much love

A rock called Communication

Womza!!! Don’t panic, that’s just my own way of saying I missed you so much (. I do have a lot to explain to you, but we would be taking it one by one. I call this article a perfect rant. I’m actually yet to figure out why some friends make you their greatest enemy as soon as they realize you’re one step ahead of them. Well, that’s a talk for another day. Hmmm I have seen and heard quite a lot of crazy things – and I’m still seeing and hearing. I have met people who actually believe the best way they can express their love is to control your life and force you to become what they wish you to be, not what you ought to be.

“A rock called Communication”
So I sat down with a group of people and as we were all talking I was able to gather a few things which were really a blessing to my soul. THANK YOU GUYS!
Friend 1> My boyfriend loves me so much he wouldn’t even allow me go out without him. (Aw, so cute. He trusts her, especially when he is EVERYWHERE around her life…yeah)

Friend 2> My boyfriend doesn’t mind me hanging around other guys, he believes I can’t be taken away from him GASKIA! (This boyfriend must be feeling like the King Of The Jungle…just saying)

Friend 3>  I like this girl so much and she likes me as much, but we can’t be together because we know virtually everything about each other……..and it feels so awkward. (GBAM!!! This was where my counseling instinct came in.)
Hello somebody, would you have preferred to end up with someone you know only a couple of things about or someone who went through the most important phases of your life together with you?
Communication is the corner stone of every relationship. It should never be side kicked. Right now I’m talking about communication between a man and woman in a relationship. What attracted you to the person you love? What is your spouse’s inner beauty or attributes? I read long ago that the best thing to be attracted to in a person should be their personal attributes.
Now, when it comes to choosing a person as your friend or lover, communication should be one of the most important things to consider. Ask yourself if you communicate well on the same level or not. A friend could stop being your friend at a particular point in time either because of distance or priorities, but your lover should have the capacity and ability to be your lover as well as your friend. That’s why I would always tell people to have an idea of who they are or what they want to be before making a choice of a lover. Now why did I say that? Remember, everyone has his or her temperament: melancholy, sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric. Understand also that people are either introverts or extroverts in nature.
As a Mel-san myself, I know that there are some temperaments which I can’t cope with so I’d rather not give such persons a major role to play in my life. Why are these temperaments so important? It is because it helps to know what kind of individual you really are, what kind of people you have in your life, and the kind of individuals you could live with. It also helps you understand people better and that makes life easier for you. When you meet people, you have to be patient enough to study them in case you end up having any interest in them.
Let me tell you a quick story about two people who were so in love and got married. After marriage, the woman discovered that her husband was a strong introvert; he would always stay indoors and wouldn’t even hang out with old friends. On the other hand the wife was the opposite; she loved staying out and meeting people. Few months into the marriage the relationship started growing apart and they thought divorce was the solution because the man felt very insecure. But seeking advice from a good counselor, they were able to understand each other better and then make compromises for their relationship to grow in strength once again.
What I am saying is this, if you really take time to know that person you love, it would save you some painful surprises and regrets in the future. It’s wise to know early enough that you can’t have everyone in your life; not because they are not good enough for you, but because your individual differences can NOT merge to become an interest. My very good friend once told me that when your spouse isn’t communicating with you as much as you feel he or she should, you feel slightly cheated. You may try to make up excuses for them for not communicating with you, but when it persists; suspicions arise, and then trust decreases. That’s why it is crucial to be patient and very observant. It shows you care about them; it tells they mean a lot to you, it gives them some sense of importance.
Believe me, practicing these little things makes life beautiful, you don’t get bored or tired of each other.  It’s fine to want to have that “me-time” once in a while (especially if you find it difficult to think clearly within the love spell of your spouse (), but after having that brief moment, you still need to get back to this one person who makes the day shine brightest for you. For those who think “but I have other cool friends, so why should my spouse be my best friend?” Oh well, do remember that when everyone has left for their own homes, it would be you and your spouse alone at the end of the day. So would you rather sit and pretend every TV program is so interesting, or sink into your mobile phone all hours until you drift off just to avoid the awkward reality of not knowing what to say to each other? Nobody prefers a miserable relationship. So start building a good relationship by treating your spouse as you would do your best friend. This way you wouldn’t have to avoid each other like a plague.
Like I always say – when your lover is also your best friend, you will know because it will show…

The goal is to impact my world positively.

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